Ensuring Safety and Building Confidence: Finding a Balance in Free Play

One of the hardest tasks as a parent is to let your child fall. Both figuratively and literally. We want to show them everything we know and we want to safeguard them from the possible hurt, harm, and discomfort they encounter. Preventing harm is of utmost importance. Preventing hurt can be important too. Preventing discomfort may do our kids a disservice.

I am a helicopter mom. Before I had my son, I agreed with the negative connotations of the term. As a pediatric physical therapist, I encourage kids to be brave, take risks, and grow their independence. Falling is an important part of learning. Failing is an important part of learning. I witness how kids are held back if their parents are always there to catch them. Babies learn to throw themselves backward in sitting because they know their parent is always behind them. They refuse to let go of their hands when walking. But, in my career I also see the preventable injuries that come when parents are not close enough. The big trips into a hard surface. The falls off of a playground ledge. The accidental knock downs from a bigger kid. All the broken bones, concerning hits to the head, and resulting fear (for the parents and the kiddos) is what really got to me in motherhood. So how do you find a balance?

I think the answer is: no one really knows. Unfortunately, as with many things in parenthood, you have to find the right answer for you and your child. There is no one "right way." For me and my family, being a "helicopter" is the best solution. For me, I am constantly weighing the risks and benefits of the activities my son engages in. If I see a potential for possible harm, such as walking quickly or running toward the edge of the play structure, I intervene. If I see a potential for possible discomfort, such as trying to climb up the small slide by himself, I let him try and I let him fall (as long as it's not over the edge!).

Finding the balance between keeping babies safe and giving them the freedom to explore and play isn’t about following a perfect formula — it’s about thoughtfully navigating both priorities. While preventing harm is essential, so is encouraging curiosity and growth. In the end, each family must discover the balance that feels right for them.